


You're the Reason Why

by AWildJaxWrites



Category: Smallbu PSA
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Quarantine, Roommates, himbros to himboyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:19:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28661610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWildJaxWrites/pseuds/AWildJaxWrites
Summary: I have so many thoughts about two himbos from a Smallbu PSA about handwashing. Unfortunately, a tweet sparked inspiration.From the video "PSA: Stay Safe with Bryan and Nicky Dee," which you can find on YouTube.Stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask!
Relationships: Bryan/Nicky Dee





	You're the Reason Why

“Bro, we have to watch the sucrose.” Bryan said, continuing to walk away from the berries.

“Bro, have you considered that the fiber per serving is what’s more important?” Nicky asked, picking up the green cartoon of red raspberries.

The small woman behind her proportionally small card table glanced between the two. Bryan paused, rubbing his chin for a moment before nodding. 

“You’re right bro. I shouldn’t have dismissed it without considering all that the berry has to offer.” He replied.

Nicky Dee nodded back before turning to the woman.

“Could we get three more of these please?” He asked.

By the time Nicky had the berries wrapped up in his tote bag, and while he tried to wedge the loose change into his neon green fanny pack, he had lost sight of Bryan. It was tradition at this point that every rest day during this season, they would hit the farmer’s market and walk around. It was important, of course, to make clean eating sustainable eating and they had gotten to know their neighbors pretty well by this point. 

But today, Bryan seemed distracted.

Nicky looked around, trying to find his roommate. Normally, he wouldn’t be worried, but something had been going on with his bro since the morning.

“Hey N.D.!” A lilting voice called out. Nicky turned and spotted Kimmy waving while leaning on a more dense, but just as battered, folding table than the one at the berry stall. Nicky smiled and walked over.

“Hey enby.” Nicky said as Kimmy stood up. “Lifting hard or hardly lifting?”

Kimmy and Nicky bumped fists as Kimmy grinned.

“You know I’m all about the cardio my dude.” They said.

Kimmy looked around, the gesture of setting up a question.

“Where’s your better half?” They questioned. Nicky Dee shrugged but also turned, glancing again over the crowd.

“I don’t know. We usually hit the Amos’s stall together.” He said.

“Going for a sourdough donut?” Kimmy asked.

Still serious, Nicky only shook his head. 

“It’s not our cheat day and we’re not bulking.” He mumbled. 

“Something going on?” 

Nicky turned back to Kimmy, surprised to see his serious mood reflected back at him in his friend’s face.

“I don’t know. Bryan’s been….” Nicky made a vague hand gesture and Kimmy nodded. 

“I thought you two shared a brain cell. Can’t believe you can keep secrets from each other.” They retorted and Nicky snorted.

Kimmy was all about the internet and had introduced him and Bryan to the concept of a himbo. They made a lot of jokes like that, though, and kept quoting a Vine when they would introduce the two friends to others. 

It didn’t bother Nicky and he had been grateful to have a friend that let him ask questions. Especially after what happened when Bryan moved in last summer.

“Oh! There he is!” Kimmy said, pointing past Nicky’s shoulder. Turning again, Nicky Dee spotted Bryan coming out of the crowd, holding a paper cup in his hand. 

“And he brought a friend.” Kimmy added in a lower voice. 

The man next to Bryan was unfamiliar, and didn’t seem like someone they’d know from the gym anyway. He was skinny, his smaller frame buried under a large fuzzy sweater. 

“Hello there Bryan.” Kimmy said, moving to rest their elbows on the top of the table to prop up their chin. “Who’s your friend?”

“Hey Kimmy.” Bryan said, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. “This is Devon.”

Devon smiled, a grin almost too large for his thin face, but nonetheless filled with genuine happiness.

“Devon, this is Kimmy. They sell the stuff from the farm I was telling you about.” Bryan said.

“Hey.” Kimmy fluttered out a few fingers from one fist, keeping their chin resting firmly on their knuckles. 

“Hi Kimmy. I use he/they pronouns myself.” Devon said.

“We are vast and many.” Kimmy quipped, not allowing themself to be the focus of conversation. Bryan cleared his throat and then turned to Nicky.

“And this is my roommate Nicky Dee.” Bryan said, gesturing to Nicky. 

Devon’s smile became more closed but hitched higher up at the corner.

“Your shades are wild. I can see how you two found each other.” Devon said, holding out his hand. 

Nicky hesitated, unsure of what was happening. Kimmy had that smile that he hadn’t quite figured out but usually came before Nicky ran and/or fell into something. And Bryan looked sick.

“Uhh, yeah.” Nicky replied, shaking hands with Devon. The other man had thin fingers, and his hand was cold. 

“Do you… work here?” Nicky asked, sounding as confused as he felt. 

“No, I’m here to meet you actually.” Devon said brightly.

“Me?” Nicky asked, looking at Bryan.

“Bro, Devon is my,” Bryan gripped the paper cup hard enough for the lid to pop off. Nicky lurched forward to grab it as Bryan kept talking.

“Boyfriend.”

The lid fell past Nicky’s fingers and he hesitated. Stooping down, he picked up the thin plastic lid. Right at the spout, a thin crack split the rim of it.

“I’ll get you a new one bro.” Nicky said, walking away quickly. 

Five years ago, after college, Nicky Dee moved away from home. His parents had wanted him to get a master of science degree so he could work at a college, but undergrad had been enough of a struggle. School in general had been a struggle. Not that he had lacked help or anything; every school he attended was great about his IEPs and his parents taught him to self-advocate. But Nicky always knew that if he had lacked his skill in baseball, the dyslexia and ADHD would’ve made him a prime target for bullying. Luckily, he fell into the dumb jock role, and was able to intervene when he could.

That never went away in college, and Nicky Dee grabbed his Health and Kinesiology degree as quick as he could. An advisor had encouraged him to go the teaching route since Nicky didn’t want to work for a sports team either. A public highschool in a county on the other side of the state had an opening that included a junior coaching position, and Nicky was overjoyed when he got it. 

His mom worried, as she often did, but his stepdad understood. Living in the same place, even if the suburbs weren’t remotely close to being a small town of any kind, people still knew Nicky. And he was tired of hearing how surprised people were when they found out he had finished college at all, let alone with a 3.7 GPA. 

There also weren’t very many friends left for him to miss either. His baseball and wrestling buddies had been snatched up by other universities across the country after high school. And of his few girlfriends, they had either moved away or gotten married. 

This was his chance to have new friends and a new life. 

“Call us when you get there!” His mom said as Nicky climbed into his car. He almost felt bad, seeing her tearful face, since he was feeling so relieved.

His orientation was for all county employees. So teachers from elementary to high school, from all of the schools, mingled in the gymnasium of the largest high school. It wasn’t Nicky’s school, but it still ramped up his excitement. 

Looking around, he saw a trio of teachers standing together. One man’s name tag was labelled Ginsburg HS, Nicky’s school, and he walked over.

“Hey there. Are you all working at RBG too?” He asked. The group opened as if on a hinge and they examined Nicky all at once. 

“Yeah.” The man he noticed first said slowly. 

“Let me guess, you’re the new P.E. teacher?” A woman added, glancing over at the others with a small smile.

“Yeah!” Nicky said, feeling his excitement bubble up from his chest.

“Of course you are.” The woman replied dryly.

“Shut up Karen, you became a teacher because you couldn’t actually act.” Another man said from behind her.

Karen blushed and looked away, huffing out a sound of irritation.

“Don’t mind her.” The first man said. “I’m Makau, I’ll be teaching freshmen biology.” 

“Oh man, I remember that class. I threw up during the frog thing.” Nicky said.

Makau laughed. “Same here.”

“I think everyone did.” The other man added. He then held up a hand in greeting. “My name is Jomari. I’ll be teaching AP Calculus.” 

“Karen. Theatre.” Karen muttered, still looking off into the gymnasium.

“I’m Nicky Dee, but you can call me Nicky. I’m teaching Health and P.E.” Nicky said.

“You’re the new JV baseball coach too right?” Makau asked.

“Junior coach.” Nicky corrected. He jumped when the three others started to laugh.

“Sorry to tell you this, but this county doesn’t make enough for a junior coach. You’ll be doing the regular coaching but just at junior pay.” Jomari said.

“Oh.” Nicky replied. From their reaction, he thought maybe he should feel bad or angry, but he still didn’t understand what it meant. He had coached a lot of different rec leagues; how hard could it be?

The orientation took three days. The first day was about general county employee stuff. All of the paperwork was in tiny, poorly photocopied print, and Nicky felt sick until he was told that he didn’t have to turn in anything that day. Reading it was going to take forever. 

Day two broke them into groups based on their school. The groups were smaller, but this was when they took their badge pictures and got all of the materials they needed that was focused on their specific institution. 

Day three was more casual, and was meant to build something called county community. Here the teachers were introduced to other teachers in their field. Surprisingly, the P.E. group was small.

Five years later, Nicky couldn’t even remember the names of the other four teachers. The only one who lasted was Bryan.

“You know what I wish hadn’t changed?” Bryan had asked.

“What?” Nicky replied.

“Exercise clothes.” Bryan stated.

Nicky stayed silent, waiting for more. When no other explanation came, he blundered forward.

“Uh, why’s that?” He asked.

“High top sneakers are better for lifting and arch support bro.” Bryan said.

“Bro…” Nicky said in amazement. “You are so right.” 

Bryan worked in one of the feeder middle schools in Nicky’s district, so they saw each other often enough. But when Nicky’s gym closed, he got to see Bryan a lot more.

[u should join my gym bro i need a new lifting buddy] Bryan texted him one day.

So their friendship began. 

Bryan was more local, and Nicky was invited over for random family dinners or barbeques. Bryan had a ton of aunties; plump women with bright patterns that obviously came from the same fabric as Bryan’s clothes. Nicky started to get them as gifts and felt overwhelmed at times.

“Bro, we’re twins!” Nicky said, unfolding a pair of pants with neon swirls on a turquoise background. 

“Oh sweetie, I think it would take more than matching pants for people to believe that.” Bryan’s grandma said. 

“I know. Bryan has always lifted more than me though.” Nicky said knowingly. The group of women chortled and even Bryan’s dad shook his head with a smile. 

All of this time together, they got to know each other really well.

Nicky told him about school, with his learning disabilities. Bryan related with his own trials being lost in the middle of his high achieving siblings. They both commiserated on having parents who split early in their childhoods. And mostly embraced finally having a friend they shared so many interests. 

So over the past five years, they became better and better friends. And Nicky finally understood what Jomari had warned him about. The county had various deficits and budget cuts. Equipment for undervalued sports were replaced last, if at all. His health curriculum was woefully out of date, and Nicky started to make his own PSA styled lessons. His students loved his out-of-date dumb jock style, and for the first time he was being laughed with and not laughed at. 

For a while, he could make it work. But then his building hiked up rent by a lot and his roommate moved out. 

“Bro, I don’t want to go through another Mike situation.” Nicky Dee complained. Outside of farmer’s market season, they took some of their rest day to hang out in the local coffee shop. 

“What’s a Mike situation?” Taylor the Barista asked as she walked over. Setting down the two coffee mugs, Bryan sat back in his chair and laughed. 

“Mike was the worst roommate that ever existed.” He said.

“Do you have to get a new roommate Nicky?” Taylor asked.

“Yeah, Dao had to move out.” Nicky answered.

“You know, I was surprised you two didn’t already live together.” Taylor said.

“Nah, we’re too different.” Bryan said, picking up his mug. Taylor let out one large laugh, slapping his shoulder and making the coffee surge over the lip.

“That’s hilarious.” She said. “You’re practically the same person.” 

Nicky was hoping Bryan would say something about it, but nothing came of it. But as the date for needing a new roommate neared, Nicky finally broached the subject.

“Hey bro, can I ask you something?” Nicky asked. It was after their workout and he felt a little more comfortable bringing it up while closed in the shower stall.

“What’s up bro?” Bryan called back.

“Did you not want to move in with me?” Nicky questioned. Bryan didn’t reply right away and Nicky listened to the water hit the tile.

“I just…” Bryan finally started, but spoke haltingly. “I’ll tell you later.”

Nicky ended up texting with Kimmy all that night, trying to understand why he was supposed to be upset. He had been quiet when Bryan came out, but knew this was yet another time when he was missing whatever it was that made this a bad thing. To him, Bryan being gay didn’t change anything. 

Kimmy helped him put the words to his thoughts, and Nicky was able to convince Bryan that they wouldn’t have any problems living together.

And they didn’t.

It actually made things a lot easier, and Nicky was thrilled to spend all of his free time with his best friend. They lifted together, ate together, and hung out together. The only time they weren’t together was when they were working. 

Nicky liked the routine, the stability, and the company.

At first, he was excited that Devon was around. He made Bryan happy, and Nicky figured that they’d just have another person join their activities.

But that wasn’t what happened.

Bryan left for dates, and Devon was a rower so his gym time included a completely different routine. Foods changed, movie nights were rescheduled, and some nights Bryan didn’t even come home.

It made Nicky feel… Bad.

Kimmy teased him for being jealous, but Nicky spoke to his stepdad about it. His dad told him that Nicky’s way of thinking didn’t like a change of routine. That was something he could understand, and Nicky shoved the thoughts to the back of his head. He didn’t need to bring up something like that when Bryan was so happy.

After a few months, things changed again.

“We’re going to need you to teach this immediately.” Principal Miller said, sliding the packet across the desk. 

Nicky winced at the tiny type.

“I’m sorry Nicky. It’s from the state though. Things are getting serious.” Principal Miller added. 

“I got it.” Nicky said.

“Hey, maybe you could make one of your fun videos with Bryan? The kiddos love them.” She said.

“Sure.” Nicky replied.

The video for hand washing ended up being distributed throughout the county. But Nicky and Bryan both saw how their classes focused primarily on hygiene and staying healthy. 

Then schools started to close.

Bryan disappeared to Devon’s place when they both had to hold their classes online. It made sense, since P.E. was loud and required a lot of space. 

When the quarantine restrictions were established, Bryan came home permanently. By this point, the students were just stressed, so they ended up talking to them about yoga and stress management. There was healthy eating and conversations about how the virus spread. Mask contests, home gym routines, and dance parties were just trying to keep spirits up. 

Being stuck at home themselves, Bryan and Nicky made sure to support each other. They improvised their exercises while their gym was closed. They made sure to fight feeling powerless by volunteering time to run virtual exercise classes for homebound seniors and other vulnerable populations. 

Nicky believed that the pervasive negative cloud was related to the pandemic. 

“Hey bro, did you want to watch a movie tonight?” Nicky asked, pausing before continuing. “If you’re not hanging out with Devon?”

Dates with Devon were difficult since the apartment was small. Nicky tried to get out of the way, but he could still hear them, and it made his stomach twist every time. 

“We broke up.” Bryan answered softly. 

“Oh.” Nicky said, his voice clipped. “Why’s that?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Bryan said. He got up from the couch and went to his room, closing the door firmly behind him. 

Nicky thought about texting Kimmy again, but he didn’t think sharing this kind of stuff with a mutual friend was dicey. Instead, he decided to try what Kimmy would always talk about.

There was always the internet.

The website was one that Kimmy had said was off limits to Nicky, but it had a channel that could offer advice.

“My [M 27] roommate [M 26] won’t talk to me and I think I make him feel uncomfortable.” Nicky typed.

He outlined his situation, wondering what it was that he was doing that kept Bryan from talking to him. From their friendship to meeting Devon to what was happening during the pandemic.

It took him a while to type it out, but not nearly as long to get a response.

“So when are you going to tell your roommate you’re in love with him?” The user said. 

Other replies came in, many of them along the same line. Nicky frowned, feeling that sick twisting in his stomach. He logged off, going into the living room to watch a movie.

“Are you watching Hobbs & Shaw bro?” Bryan asked from around the corner.

Nicky twisted the remote in his hands.

“Yeah.” He said.

“Sweet.” Bryan walked in and shoved Nicky’s shoulder. “Move over.”

Nicky flinched at the touch but shifted down on the couch. 

Bryan sat close and Nicky was very aware of the space between their legs. He sat stiffly, staring directly at the screen. When Bryan reclined, stretching his arm down the back of the couch, Nicky swallowed the lump in his throat. 

One response to his post did bubble up.

“Have you tried asking him how he felt?”

“Hey bro?” Nicky asked.

“What’s up bro?” Bryan asked. 

“How do you feel?” Nicky asked.

Bryan looked over.

“I’m fine.” He said.

“I mean, breakups suck. So if you want to talk, you know I’m always here for you bro.” Nicky said.

Bryan sighed and rubbed his eyes, pushing his sunglasses up onto his head. 

“Not about this bro.” He said. 

“Did I do something?” Nicky asked, taking off his own sunglasses. 

“No, it was me.” Bryan said. He lowered his hand, but looked down at his lap. 

“What? But you’re amazing bro!” Nicky said in a rush. 

Bryan blushed faintly and Nicky looked down as well. 

“I know something is going on bro. I just want to help.” Nicky said. 

“Devon and I couldn’t get past the quarantine. We just couldn’t see each other as often as we wanted.” Bryan replied.

“I wish I understood more, but you know I don’t really date. And I just really like being with you anyway.”

“Yeah. That’s why we’re friends.” 

Bryan looked upset when he said it, but he got up before Nicky could say anything. Still, he knew he had to say something. 

“I think I like you bro.” Nicky blurted.

Bryan stopped, his shoulders coming up to his ears. 

“It really bugged me when you were dating Devon, even though he was really nice. And I thought it was because we wouldn’t be friends. But I think it’s because I wanted to be…” Nicky paused and Bryan finally turned around.

“Boyfriends.” Nicky finished. 

When the new school year started, and they were still meeting virtually, Nicky was talking to his third period class. Most of them were seniors and had known him since they were freshmen. Their time together, and him being a more approachable type of teacher, made a different sort of relationship among the students.

As Nicky was explaining the syllabus, Bryan walked past with his shaker bottle. 

“Hey Coach Nicky, are you two dating yet?” A girl asked and a bunch of other students started talking loudly. 

“No way, Mr. Bryan was my teacher in middle school. He has way better taste.” A boy interjected.

“Is Coach Nicky gay?” Another student exclaimed.

“I thought he was dating the lunch lady.” Someone said softly.

“That’s a joke dude.” Someone else replied.

The chatter continued and Nicky was aware enough to know he could use this to keep from answering. But the pandemic had also brought a lot of things to his attention. Things about was allowed to be discussed, and things that should be brought up.

“Actually.” Nicky said loudly and the video faces of his students - plus a few black squares - went quiet. 

“I am dating Mister Bryan.” He said.

“OH MY GOD.” The students screamed in unison. “THEY WERE ROOMMATES.”


End file.
